It's pretty late, and Matt is doing a search to help me put images on this deal. It's been a cool couple of days, I haven't slept a lot though. All the procrastinating really shoved sleep on the backburner, so I slept till almost one today. I then did a movie marathon with Brendan and the folk for most of the night, (Chasing Amy, Super Troopers and Old School)... funny stuff.
On the subject of movies, Passion of the Christ was intense, violent, brutal and convicting. I kept realizing that it was ME who did this to Jesus, it was ME beating him, ME shredding his back, ME smashing nails into his hands. And it was me he did all of it for. I cried all through the film.
I spent some interesting time with God this week actually. Winter's harder for me because I like to spend time with God outside, but I sat down in the shower on Thursday and hashed some stuff out with Him, listened some, and came out clean, body and spirit. It was great. I need to do stuff like that more often, it's so refreshing. I always forget what it feels like to really, really connect. When I do, it's always good. And I always feel like an idiot for not connecting more often, and yet...
It's a process, this faith thing. I like how God works on me a lot, it means I rarely have time to doubt His existence. But I sometimes wish I didn't have to fall on my face all the time. If I didn't screw up all the time, I could eliminate the sometimes rather painful process of conviction, repentence, discipline, etc. that I always seem to be in the middle of.
Why do I always have to do things the hard way?