Am I so transparent?

Much to my chagrin, I am cursed with an utter inability to hide my emotions.

It actually really sucks, if I'm sad, the whole world knows I'm sad. If I'm angry I can't hide it either. The flip side is of course that if I'm happy the world knows my joy, but it's the other side of things that cause me trouble.

Apparently I've been sad since I've gotten back. It's partially true, I have been sort of bummed out and I don't really even know why. It's a myriad of things I suppose. My issue is that I never have time to process my feelings inwardly before the whole world knows how I'm feeling. I guess this is how it's going to be, but it can be exausting having your heart on your sleeve like that.

The whole 'why are you sad?' barrage of questions can be difficult when the answer is often 'I don't know yet'. And I STILL don't know how to be mad or sad here properly without feeling like I'm going to hurt someone. So I try to hide it until I do have it figured out, and I'm not sure that's healthy either.

All this ties into why I suck at poker. My hand is written all over my face. There's plenty of time to work on my poker face in the future... In the meantime I'll be in front of the mirror practicing my quasi neutral facial expressions.