hey, what did you hear me say?

Here's what's up. I spent the weekend back in Abbotsford, chilling at the Lifehouse for the Lifeteams reunion. Good times were had, coffee was sipped, all nighters were pulled... and me and Dustin (year four) listened to Zao and Underoath for like, two hours.

I miss Lifeteams. Not in a pining way, but there's something about never being able to go back to something... Over the weekend there were spots where I felt lonely. I sat in the basement and tried to figure it out... this is what I've got so far...

I anticipated going to Lifeteams more than I have anticipated anything else in my entire life. I cried when I found out that I was going to go. The thought of it gave me joy for months. Periodically during lifeteams I'd forget that I was already there and remember that intense anticipation again. Sometimes now I forget that it's all over and I remember that excitement. And now I've got a little hollow spot where I miss Lifeteams, and here's what I've got.

It is not really Lifeteams I was anticipating, wanting and searching after, a year and a half ago when I was applying, it was God. I was anticipating an oppurtunity I saw to draw nearer to Him. It was Him I wanted, and the thought of a closer relationship with him could almost make me giddy.

On the flipside of that, I'm not sure its all Lifeteams I'm homesick for. I think I'm actually missing God, and getting the two confused in my head. The house, isn't ours anymore, we won't see each other as much... but God? God came with me to Saltspring and he'll be on the plane with me to Peterborough. If I felt that my best friends coming out of Lifeteams were the Lifeteamers... then I think now that maybe I missed the point. Jesus is a better friend to me than anyone else, and I must pursue him more diligently now than I ever have.

So, to God, who I am homesick for, please accept me as your dear friend, and be mine. And we'll see where you take us from here.