[coffee]

Well folks, I think I'd kill for either an expresso or an nap... one or the other. I'm leaning toward the nap but unfortunately a rather potent morning brew I had in class makes it pretty much impossible.

I do however love my java. This is a brief post about my love of coffee.

[why?] I love coffee because it tastes good. I started drinking it when I was eleven or so because I thought it looked grown up. I quit shortly thereafter for a number of years for fear of stunting my growth and never being 'grown up'. I dont know when I started drinking it again, probably in grade eight or nine I guess, and it has been a regular beverage for me ever since.

[how?]I drink coffee black, always have. My parents don't (both take single cream), but my gramma does. I think when I was younger I liked drinking it black because it was hardcore and then I just developed a taste for it. In the mean time it's just fun to rib people who dilute their bitter brew with lashings of cream and sugar (carlo raponi, for example).

Top Five coffee spots (in Van and Peterborough): The Spill, Ethical Addictions, Dreams and Beans, The Silver Bean, Brazza

::What God Really Loves ::

God loves you

and God loves me

but if I can speak freely

and confidentially

what God really loves

is a good cup of coffee

::by ralph alfonso::

In addition to all this, I think fair trade goes down smoother because it doesn't taste like injustice.



Peace out folks. Bet you know what I'm about to go make. :)

my own room for a night.

I'm currently at Josh's parents house, just hanging out while Josh picks up some canoes for tomorrow. I get to sleep in the guest room tonight, which will make it the first time since christmas that I've slept in a room alone.

It's wierd how accustomed you get to stuff like sleeping in the same room as other people. Previous to this year I'd slept in my own room for six years or so. Four months of sharing a room with two other girls in a generally loud house has made the prospect of a solitary night in a quiet house intriguing and almost intimidating. As I type I have the music on to dispel the quiet a little.

I used to be really good at silence. In Ennismore the night sounds are snowmobiles on the lake in winter and loons in the summer. Out here there's woods sounds and a distant din from the highway, as well as the significant amount of noise that emanates from nine people, their music, their appliances etc. I'm beginning to take notice of the significant increase in my ability to sleep through ANYTHING, and my growing restlessness in absolute silence.

These things are worth chewing on, as God often chooses to speak when we are in silence, so perhaps I should value it more than I do. Either way, I have time to ponder a bit more tomorrow, another silent saturday.

exausted state.

Sorry, I'm tired again. I just got back from Galiano (in the Gulf Islands). Short description: million dollar log cabin, hot tub, rock climbing wall IN the house, party.

Yeah, I had a decent weekend, punctuated heavily by naps. I'm sorry about the shortness of this post. I'm really tired and I've got school in the morning. More later, promise.

fabulous, I can have pics on the blog again 

Self Enforced Silence.

Today marks the first of four saturdays when I will be refraining from speech beyond 'pass the salt' type comments. This is part of an excercise in the spirital disciplines that are to become a thread in the daily fabric of my existence here. I seriously had no idea that fasting from speech would be so frigging difficult. So after waking up at noon and remaining mostly silent for two or three hours, I crashed again on my bottom bunk, exausted from my efforts.

After waking up I turned on msn, hoping from some respite from my suddenly conversationless existence. Within ten minutes it was brought to my attention that perhaps msn was a form of cheating in this new fast I'm embarking on. The click of the mouse sounded like a judges gavel when I shut down the conversation window.

I had no idea that a simple removal of vocal expression from one day of the week could prove such an insurmountable task. Why didn't God ask me to do something... less silent? Such as preaching from a soapbox for example?


Sigh. Some days I'm pretty sure that I am the least spiritual person in all Christendom.

Am I so transparent?

Much to my chagrin, I am cursed with an utter inability to hide my emotions.

It actually really sucks, if I'm sad, the whole world knows I'm sad. If I'm angry I can't hide it either. The flip side is of course that if I'm happy the world knows my joy, but it's the other side of things that cause me trouble.

Apparently I've been sad since I've gotten back. It's partially true, I have been sort of bummed out and I don't really even know why. It's a myriad of things I suppose. My issue is that I never have time to process my feelings inwardly before the whole world knows how I'm feeling. I guess this is how it's going to be, but it can be exausting having your heart on your sleeve like that.

The whole 'why are you sad?' barrage of questions can be difficult when the answer is often 'I don't know yet'. And I STILL don't know how to be mad or sad here properly without feeling like I'm going to hurt someone. So I try to hide it until I do have it figured out, and I'm not sure that's healthy either.

All this ties into why I suck at poker. My hand is written all over my face. There's plenty of time to work on my poker face in the future... In the meantime I'll be in front of the mirror practicing my quasi neutral facial expressions.

As exaustion set in, she...

longed for sleep mostly.

This week has a few too many all nighters in it for my liking. All, of course are my doing. I signed up to work an emergency shelter set up for youth a couple of nights this week at the local drop in due to the cold. I can do it, it just means that I'm basically working a night shift and then going to school the next day. So the night before last I didn't sleep and tonight I wont. It remains to be seen how this will work out. All this lack of sleep falls under a 'No Complaining Clause' created and agreed upon by my sibs and I when we were younger - if it's your fault, you're not allowed to complain. An excellent little bit of sibling law to live by I guess, but a bit of a tough order.

I suppose I have simply joined the legions of other post secondary students who, on a regular and ongoing basis do not get sufficient sleep. So, comrades-in-exaustion, I shall make a concerted effort to throw myself into life with the same fervor and energy as if I had a solid nine hours of sleep. I pray for God's help in this particular venture.

And now for a power nap before class.

* Snow Day *

Yes Virginia, it snows in the Frasier Valley.

This has been a ridiculously lazy day. I spent the entire morning in bed drinking coffee, eating chocolate and reading Douglas Coupland. The Lifeteamers decided that I should be spoiled for some strange reason and made me breakfast in bed. At some point midway through 'Polaroids from the Dead' I had a nap and woke up because the house was too quiet. My housemates had gone out to play in the snow. What joy.

I played in the snow last night with the crew, I crazy carpetted down the driveway (read: the huge hill) and almost got run over by Chris, Josh and Andrew who all piled onto one crazy carpet and hurtled down the hill straight for me. I can think of no better sight to put the fear of God in your heart.

I adore snow days for their sheer nostalgia. There was no placement for anyone today so we were all in the mix. It was seriously like I was an eight year old kid in Ontario waking up to the sound of bus cancellations over AM radio.

Well, I've got a staff retreat tomorrow for placement, which, despite the snow, is blissfully still occurring. Horridly early morning tomorrow. Penance, I'm sure, for my delightful sloth today.

Cheers.

Well, in absence of a thing to write...

I shall write anyway. Second sem is off to a decent start, I missed the Lifeteams crew in my short two week absence (although we seem to have all dropped the separation anxiety that trademarked us at the beginning, ie: 'you're going out for the whole day?!)

Actually it's neat at the house, I think the break did us good. We're all hanging out in the livingroom together in the evening like we did in the beginning, only without the shyness of just barely knowing anyone. It's good, kinda like airing out your favourite blanket. That and the house is covered with candy, I mean does EVERYONE get extreme amounts of candy for christmas? Because we all seem to have brought tins and boxes and bags of sugar loaded delicious junk.

Sigh. Tempation knocks down the door doesn't it folks? I'll post later this week, perhaps with something of substance to report to all of you.

on frequent flyer points and the phenomenon of the modern airport...

Yesterday was flying day (insert groans here) and it was worse than usual. My plane was an hour and a half late leaving Toronto, seriously, we were all on the plane, buckled and ready to go, and the plane sat on the tarmac for an hour and a half. Ick.

As a result of course, I missed my connecting flight in Calgary. There were two other planes leaving calgary to abbotsford yesterday, I couldn't go on the first because it was already full, so I went on the second... after six hours of bumming around the calgary airport.

It could have been much worse, yes. But I hate flying days to begin with, so extending what should have been a morning of boredom and exaustion into an entire day of boredom and exaustion was a severe pain.

Sigh, oh and by the by. I am now a frequent flyer. What a joke, at the beginning of July I'd never BEEN on a plane... yesterdays flight was my seventh.

Welcome to the poverty jet set.