So I'm becoming nocturnal.

I've been home for a week and have developed a habit of staying up all night and sleeping more or less all day. I got home at three last night and got up at three thirty this afternoon. Oddly enough this schedule is fine for me. It's the one I slip into when my life is not governed by school or work. It just seems so messed up.

Aside from the sleep schedule, over the past week I've felt pretty convicted over some stuff. I fought so hard with my sister the night before last... when she was leaving the next morning. I was just angry enough not to care. So now I'm left with a nagging sort of guilt even though she's not mad at me (and I'm not mad at her) anymore.

Stuff like that makes me see some of the worst parts of myself and I hate it. I really hate it.

I also went to church yesterday. It was one of those times that you think that the dude preaching somehow knows what you're thinking and is talking right to you. I think I squirmed in my seat for about half the service.

These things will work themselves out in me I hope.

.look 

Back in the Patch.

Despite a turbulent flight and an insane urge to throttle the two people sitting next to me, I made it home safe and sound. I think I'm growing to dislike flying. Air Canada shoves six people where four people would normally fit... and then wonder why people get air rage. Bah, I think that so long as I wish to travel into faraway places such as British Columbia, flying will be a necessary evil for me.

It's wierd being home. Different anyway. The house seems a little different for some reason. Over the course of the summer I have also grown more or less accustomed to being without parents. I missed them for sure, but I have to relearn the skill of letting them know my whereabouts at all times. Sigh, growing pains.

I've got two weeks in the 'borough before I get on a plane back to my new stomping grounds. This feeling of being unprepared still sits in my stomache. I'll do a proper post on it later I think. In the meantime, if you pray, pray for me. If you don't, buy me a coffee.

If you're into doing both, I won't protest. ;)

... 

On the home stretch.

I will be on a flight to Ontario early Monday morning, and to be quite honest, I'm stoked. Working is so much less fun than hanging out with people. And two days after I get home I fully intend on hanging out with the folk back home. A final hurrah, you might say, before everyone starts to do their own thing.

Despite my yearning for a visit home, I am getting excited about doing my 'own thing'. I checked out my future stomping grounds in Abbotsford. They are worth getting excited over. I'm living in a lovely place called 'Hill Haven' ... which is on the side of a mountain. It's big, with lovely views. I'll be living there with nine other people. It looks like I'm going to be the youngest kid on the block. There's twenty seven year old guy in the program... and he's married. There's also a dude from Poland and another dude from England. I'm pretty flipping stoked.

I also had the opportunity to meet Rob Snair, my program director. He's one of those guys who puts you at ease. Definitely a kindred soul. I'm excited about this program. I'm excited about these directors. I'm really excited about this community that we'll be building together.

That being said, I don't feel all that prepared for any of it.

Work tomorrow. I'm out.

laundry day.

I officially have no clean clothes... at all. I needed to get up early today to do an 'emergency' load so that I can have something to wear today. I've never pulled an all nighter to get laundry done, but it looks like tonight might be my first. I'm moving some of my stuff into my Abbotsford house tomorrow... which means that all of my clothes need to be clean. I'm a housekeeping nightmare.

Work has come down to what we could safely call an armed truce. On Sunday the crap hit the fan and Kiel's mom came to talk to Breanne, Breanne attacked her and Kiel's mom sat down and talked to her for a half hour. I love mommies.

Breanne was really angry and dangerously quiet as we headed for Gastown. She started going the wrong way, heading into Stanley Park. She meandered deeper and deeper into the park. The four of us started to get nervous. Finally she parked, told us to get out and walked very deliberately to a tree, sat down beneath it, and told us to do the same.

The four of had a simultaneous thought - she's lost it and we are about to be shot.

We were suprised when she barked 'Okay, you wanna talk?! Talk! Who's got a problem?!'

I was ticked. Now she wanted to talk. We'd been trying for over a month to talk things out and only now, after three phonecalls to her supervisor and a telling off from a mother does she actually make an effort to discuss things.

It began badly. At first we were silent, then Kiel started it off and I followed him. Aimee stayed nearly silent for the whole session except for some angry outbursts at the beginning. Rebecca did much the same.
Breanne was very defensive and angry, with short comebacks for all concerns brought forward. It was useless. But somewhere in the second hour of 'discussion' she broke down and started taking responsibilty for some of her actions. She apologized, cried and told us we weren't leaving until it was all figured out. All this was pretty overwhelming and not an ideal way to address problems, but it appeared to pacify everyone somewhat. We are now determined to finish the summer without much further conflict.

For the first time in more than a week I feel somewhat secure in my job.

My laundry is done.

Calm yourselves...

The good news? I am still gainfully employed.

Suprisingly I am not yet disciplined either. That was supposed to happen today, but it never really came to be. I don't know if I like that or not, because it's not done. I need to finish this whole matter. This fear of the unknown is terrible.

That being said, I don't think that I'm being disciplined. The strike is tomorrow and my boss has calmed down somewhat.

In addition to that, it doesn't look like I'll be asked to cross a picket line. We're just staying as far away from the site as possible (officially anyway. I may check it out myself after a couple of days). But mostly we're going to work the 'avoid' strategy. I may get sent home early due to the extreme lack of work to be done. This will mean a loss of cash but not a grievious one.

Now the question is, do I raise hell about how I was treated by my supervisor over the past week? Or should I shut up and not risk my job on it?

Contributions are much appreciated. ;)

I've been avoiding posting to be quite honest.

I'm in deep, deep shit at work. And I hate that. I barely know how it happened in the first place. A coworker and I got lost in a crowd of 600,000 people and are now being disciplined for it. It makes very little sense to me. We did the best we could to find my supervisor, borrowing peoples cellphones, talking to police, and finally just fighting our way back to the car... none of that matters I guess, because we are being officially disciplined Thursday.

I feel bitter. I made things worse by responding to my supervisors anger with razor sharp comments twice. I felt instantly sorry. I apologized for it. That won't matter much either.

To add insult to injury the strike date is Friday.

My mother is laying bets that I'll get sent home. I'd take that bet myself actually. I need to learn to keep my mouth shut, when to hold them and when to fold them so to speak . It's just that it's so frigging contrary to my nature. Sometimes it's a good thing. Sometimes I land myself in a pile of crap.


"Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn. My God do you learn." -- C.S. Lewis

Am I alive? Why, yes. Thanks for asking.

So I'm a conflict magnet apparently... when asked why earlier today, I explained that it was because I can't easily hide behind telephone poles.

Hey, it's as good an answer as any. I can't seem to go a week without getting in some sort of trouble from my supervisor. Basically I've just got to stick this out and try to stay out of trouble until the end of this job, which is coming up fast.

I'll be home in two weeks and two days. Somebody better be planning to buy me a pack of Smarties or something to celebrate my arrival.

I wish storyteller was still a viable profession. I'd take it.

I don't want to work tomorrow.

This is such a ridiculously random post.

Apologies in advance... I'll do better next time...