asked me where my brother was...

The fabulous Josh Ng (from lifeteams) swung into town on Tuesday night with his awesome friend Dave. They've been staying at my place and exploring all the joys that Peterborough has to offer. Last night we piled over to my parents house to eat some great dinner and hang out. Twas fun. My house is often a riot.

In a couple of hours we bus into Toronto, followed by a sojourn into Oakville to visit the illustrious Andrew McKeachie.

for now I'm putting off sociology readings and withdrawing money for my rent. My life is one of books and abject poverty. Also one of good friends. Shout outs. I love you all dearly.

fire engine, cherry, china, lipstick red.

I'm in the process of revamping the oldest bicycle in my parents garage, once it's fixed up it'll be mine. I call it the 'ding-ding bicycle' because it's an old one with fenders and in old movies they always have little bells on them. The bike is rusty, and a dirty navy blue, with patchy rusty white fenders.

I have vision for this old bicycle.

Today I started by digging up some old metal paints from my garage. My colours are gold, shiny black and fire engine-cherry red. The frame is red, I painted it this afternoon. I'll do another coat soon. The fenders and chain cover will be black. All things metallic, the spokes, the handlebars and such, are going to be spraypainted gold. The overall effect will be distinctly model T ford I'm hoping.

This bicycle may need a name...

Batter my heart.

In English this week we looked at John Donne. I'm decidedly fascinated with John Donne, he presents sacred ideas with sexual imagery. It's jarring. Here's one of the Holy Sonnets we studied... for your perusal.

HOLY SONNETS. XIV.

Batter my heart, three-person'd God ; for you

As yet but knock ; breathe, shine, and seek to mend ;

That I may rise, and stand, o'erthrow me, and bend

Your force, to break, blow, burn, and make me new.

I, like an usurp'd town, to another due,

Labour to admit you, but O, to no end.

Reason, your viceroy in me, me should defend,

But is captived, and proves weak or untrue.

Yet dearly I love you, and would be loved fain,

But am betroth'd unto your enemy ;

Divorce me, untie, or break that knot again,

Take me to you, imprison me, for I,

Except you enthrall me, never shall be free,

Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me

I just ate a rotten cherry tomato. now I don't want any more...

currently:: listening to Kimya Davidson and beginning to think about maybe doing something today. Except it's 6:30. So it's a day wasted no matter how you cut it... unless I like, save a whale or something.

I'm thinking of a story to tell... here's one.

On monday I woke up early. Up by eight for an english lecture at ten. It's smart to leave the house at nine-ish or nine fifteen. I was pleased to be up and not in a rush. I puttered around, ate a banana, had a shower and packed my lunch. I felt pretty rested. On my way out the door I asked Des what time it was, I checked the clock in Des's room and it read 10:20... my lecture had started twenty minutes ago. I had no idea how I had been so off. I checked my room clock, and found the culprit. My clock read 9:20. I walked out the door shaking my head, at least I'd be on time for my tutorial.

I caught the last five minutes of lecture, my tutorial starts directly after but I couldnt find the room it's in. So I got to the room maybe five minutes late.

The door was locked.

Not only was it locked, it was double locked. Evidently my TA didn't like late-comers. I winced and knocked twice. Nothing. The T.A. didn't even pause in his lecture. Obviously he had somesort of policy about being on time or not at all. I wasn't about to be the idiot who can't take a hint and bangs on the door really loud. So after a second of thought, I pulled out my books, put my ear to the door and took notes for an hour. I had comments and questions and everything, but he couldnt see my hand raised from the other side of the door.

After the tutorial let out, I went in to introduce/explain myself.

'Hello, I'm Meag Culkeen,' I said a little apologetically. 'I'm in your tutorial, I was a little late, and your door was locked?' I gestured toward the door.

'Oh!' he said, 'the door was locked?'

'Yeah, double locked' I said. 'I knocked'.

'I musn't have heard you', he said, waving me off. 'Next time just bang on the door really loud.'


Only me.

hunter street sunset. 

nobody really meant well.

the cat (named Cat) has peed everywhere. We're not sure what caused the cat's pee-fest but, the whole apartment stinks pretty bad. Oh Cat... I think I'll have to head to the corner store to buy some Febreeze... and... scent killing acid.

Yesterday I headed to Toronto. Hung out with my lovely sister and my dear friend Andrew. It was good times. We drank really great coffee here.

Went to church today twice, just got back from the evening service at Peterborough Free Methodist. Thirdspace was great today, the ever awesome Carlo Raponi spoke... and I felt really convicted. Actually both times in church today I just got a sense like God was elbowing me in the rib and saying 'are you hearing this?'

Ah God. He really is good.

revolutions and politics.

I didn't learn about either today, but yesterday both factored in heavily. It looks like being a political studies major might turn out okay. My history 170 class (from here on I'll call it my 'revolution class') looks incredible. Lots of cool stuff to digest. There's been a lot of resistance and revolution on this planet.

In politics we talked about Aristotle's view... which is one of the predecessors of modern political theory from the sounds of things. He says that human beings are political animals. He says, in essence our politics, our interactions with others, power relationships etc. are what differentiate us from animals.

Well I dont know about that. But it's an interesting theory. Under that theory though, he argues that women, children and slaves are not fully human... so they could not participate in the politics of their day. We snort at the thought now, but really the argument was being used right up till 1929 in Canada... ah the 'Persons Case'.

Sometimes I really dont think we've come that far either.

des said something awfully funny 

hi how are you today?

my glasses broke in half last night.
I'm useless without them, so I trotted to the optometrists this morning... seventy five dollars later I've got new frames. Real life is bloody expensive.

thom came over, he is now taking a brief break from playing with the cat toys. I like thom. He's one of the best friends I've got.

I'm hungry. My first lectures were yesterday, they were friggin grand. I think I'll like university maybe. I get to watch documentaries every week in canadian studies. All of my lectures have massive amounts of people in them... but such is the case with first year courses. I dont mind, the content looks like it'll be awesome.

I need to learn how to be a decent student. I've done alright in school so far, but I've never really been a good student.

alright. I to my tea. More stories later.

it's sunday, so we'll sleep and write haikus for no one in particular.

I haven't gotten around to the haikus yet, I think I'll need to go get a pita first. Visit desiree-duck at work.

Spent the night at my parents yesterday, mostly hung out with my mom. I like my mom, she's funny. We stayed up late chatting drinking diet coke while she smoked late night cigarettes. Oddly enough that makes me feel older. More so than living in a little apartment does. My mom stays up late talking to my aunts in the kitchen when they visit... a ritual I was rarely privy to until now.

Went to church twice today, free methodist at 9:30 and thirdspace at 11:00... both were grand in their own ways. First class at Trent is tomorrow. Yeah, I'll just pretend I'm ready for that particular adventure.

The neighbours are fighting loudly upstairs, they're scaring the cat ... I'm not sure I want to go out walking to town by ,myself... but hey I'll stay in well lit areas I guess.

Cheers, I'll report on my firstest university lecture ever tomorrow.

the path is too narrow.

Pedro the Lion is making me ever so pensive. Noah bought me Winners Never Quit, my favourite Pedro album, that I've never owned. I didnt remember it being this serious, but hey. I still love it.

I'm going to thom's house. We're going to chill for awhile. I'm going to see if trent walkhome will walk me to his house. It's not quite on their route, but we'll see how it goes. My area of town at night can get a little sketchy.

shrug I need tea... I need a lot of things.

maybe. maybe in ontario.

then again. maybe I'll be okay... Just talked to noah. He desperately wants me to go camping with him and a crew this weekend. Ah noah, full of boyscout esque fervour.

Dont know if I want to, trying to get settled here still, get my head on straight... dont know if camp will help or hinder that process.

Shrug. I can hear Des and Rick giggling... they're funny when they giggle... then again, everyone is... can't frown at a grown man in a fit of giggles can you? I think not.

bad as they seem...

i feel like I'm standing on my head and trying to keep up with things. I have no real idea what is going on. I skipped all my Intro sessions today... slept twelve or more hours last night.... wandered around town today, trying to buy stuff for the apartment, paid half my rent. Bought my english textbooks. Dropped a course. Need to pick another somehow. Called my parents... bitched at my poor dad then cried on the backporch. Hungry, dont feel like cooking anything. Going to the spill. Worried that making new friends will prove more difficult than I originally thought...

I'm going to make a coffee. I picked up twenty nine brochures for clubs today, maybe all I need to do is tap into smaller communities... at the moment I feel like a number adrift among hundreds of other numbers.

shrug. I'm going to east side marios with Des and rick and Dan... maybe we will all eat tomatoes.

the realms of the new.

currently:: eating a lunch of trailmix, skim vanilla soymilk and applesauce... do I have a vegan roomate? Yes, yes I do.

Been at Trent doing orientation type stuff for the past two days. I'm finding all the rah rah rah stuff a little taxing... I dont even OWN spirited beachwear... I don't know, it's hard not knowing a soul at my college. I know I'll make good friends. In truth I'm more looking forward to 'disorientation week' this is the alternative introduction to the activist side of trent. Disorientation week has seminars and open mics, poetry readings and even a protest I think... not a beachball in sight... enter the trent I know and love.

In other equally important and exciting news, I moved into my new apartment yesterday night. My room is a great little space, I've put up a ton of art so it has almost a gallery sort of feel. Very funky. The newplace is on the ground floor of an old peterborough house. One (now two) bedrooms, with a big kichen, a cat who has taken ownership of me and a little porch with flowers. I like it a lot. Desiree and her boyfriend Rick are great company... hurrah!

Yeah, I'm doing swell so far. I checked out the thirdspace this weekend. Good times. I love church some days, coffee, jesus and people... can't top it...

where i wanted to be.

I'm home in Ontario. Sitting at my old computer... listening to my (built) little brother fry something... it's one thirty in the flipping morning... who fries something?

We're going to watch a vampire movie him and I... presumably after he's done frying something.

I am a conflicted sack of emotions... shrug... this appears to be my lot in life. All reports lead me to believe that I'll be here at the parents house for the weekend and heading to my new apartment on monday afternoon or evening. I'm anxious to get settled... mostly because I'm sick of 'between' states.The house is sort of different. My little bro says I'm different but he can't say how... ah well. Nothing stays the same. I'm not afraid of change, but right now a little zoning out in front of a good vampire movie with my brother could be just the mind vacation I need.

My room is different. Somehow that changes everything... I was relieved that it felt so different, it made me feel alright because things did change while I was gone... it's not just me that feels different. My room has got boxes everywhere... storage... same as my room was used for before it was ever my room.

Goodnight.

I to my vampire movie... and to mooch off my bothers bacon and eggs... frying eggs at two the morning... this brother of mine....